I get asked these so often and in such a predictable sequence that I decided they all belonged in their own single post. Behold, everything you all want to know about my writing process and some quick things about etiquette when asking a writer about their craft.

If you asked me one of these questions and I sent you this link instead: these are not things that are appropriate to ask.

How’d you get into writing? How long have you been doing it?

This question is usually fine with most people, but I personally do not like to discuss my writing process or history with others and I get asked so often that I created this instead.

It was something I always showed an aptitude for, all the way back to elementary school and I routinely scored off the charts every time my English composition and grammar skills were tested. I took additional modules for my college board exams (that the universities never cared about anyway so they were useless) but pursued other areas of study. It never occurred to me to study writing.

After (finally) graduating, I followed another career path for a while then decided to leave it. Just before that transition I had started leaning into my writing a bit more and realized that what came so naturally to me was a unique gift and I did not want to waste it. Things just built up from there.

You must be all kinds of “excited” when you write your stories.

Incorrect! And even if I was, that’s none of your goddamn business.

Generally, my process involves, um, inspiration (I’ll let you figure that one out) where I outline a new piece. If I have a commission, I work with the details the buyer provided and weave it into a 3-part structure. If necessary I will break it up from there.

However, I do not write when I’m actually aroused and horny. My output has already been slow and inconsistent due to *gestures at everything* but I’d really never get anything done if I only wrote in that state. I’ve definitely tried it, more than once, but honestly… writing while horny completely kills the mood for me because it’s a different part of my brain that gets aroused creatively.

So basically: I outline when horny, write when sober, and edit with coffee.

From there, I work on formatting and the cover art, then do the upload and marketing process. Because I’m doing this all myself, obviously, it’s an inconsistent and slow-going thing.

*weird comment insinuating that a story must be some personal fantasy of mine*

Please do read my writing. But do not read into my writing and seek meaning or desire that is not there.

When a story is from my own mind (not a commission) it’s true that there is some basis of personal fantasy in the premise. But quite honestly—once I know I have something workable, my creative juices take over and even when something does come my own spank-bank vault, by the time I have polished it up for mass consumption by my audience, I’m pretty far removed from any excitement on my part.

Stuffing Season is a great example of that. The opening scene is one I enjoy a lot and the premise was one I had in my head for a while (ahem, for reasons) but the way most of it turned out really aren’t my own personal fantasies. They were just ideas I knew would fit in very well with the story and would lead me to the end I planned.

If you are trying to get to know me as a person, my kink stories are not some secret path into my sexual or personal psyche.

*weird conversation about the personal impact an essay or blog post had on your life*

I’m genuinely thankful and pleased that something non-fiction I wrote resonated with you. That is why I do what I do! And I genuinely do enjoy hearing feedback and that it spoke to you.

But.

I am not your therapist and the act of me accepting and engaging in feedback about how something impacted you is not an invitation to emotionally unload on me or otherwise vent. Unless we are friends, I am not your friend. If you feel you need further advice or want a fancy sexy story of your own, I do have both of those available (click here for my commission rates and here to submit to an upcoming advice column).

I understand that my non-fiction writing shows an open, empathetic side of me. And to that end, yes, I am very much me in those pieces. But I am ultimately a sensitive, private person with intense and rigid boundaries and I do not do well when they are violated. Appreciate the work for what it is and don’t seek more (unless, of course, you want a commission…)

It’s ok to reach out and tell me you appreciated a piece, and why. I will always respond in kind to that. It’s not ok to push the conversation deeper unless I already know you.

---

There you have it. All of the questions you want to ask and shouldn’t, but do anyway.

Thank you for reading my post today! If you enjoyed it, you may also be interested in my erotica or even a commission.

First: for the love of all that is unholy, please stop asking people this question. It’s one thing if it’s in context, like you’re at a bar and someone mentions they’re from out of town. But just during the greetings and the like—on kink networks, the implication is already there.

If you ask me this question, I will not answer it. This is the only time I will: because I’m looking to connect with other weirdos into the same stuff.

That’s it. A lot falls under that umbrella. It’s up to you to actually be a good conversationalist. Asking this question signals you don’t read the room very well.

How about this: instead of asking someone, try you telling them why you’re here (or there… you know what I mean). State your intentions up front! That kind of self-assuredness and confidence is really attractive and opens the conversation.

I figured out a reason why I like body inflation so much. And while it’s a fairly common shared kink amongst feedists, it doesn’t always appeal completely across the board. So, sometimes, curious FAs will inquire why it is I like it so much, especially when they discover that it was my first big kink long before feedism came about.

While the medium doesn’t really matter—air, gas, liquid, or something creative—I tried to get to the root of it and figure out exactly what it is that gets me.

When it comes to inflation erotica, whether it is fiction or visual art, I really love the process of inflation. Of course the end stage is just as fun, but for many who enjoy things like rapid weight gain, tight clothes, and popping buttons—inflation offers a lot of that by default.

But always, my favorite moment is when an inflatee realizes whether by choice or circumstance that they are no longer independently mobile or ambulatory. In stories and sequences, I prefer they end on an open note or one in which popping isn’t implied, because for me, it’s the immobility that gets to me. Just like bondage.

And then it dawned on me that it’s the inverse of a vacuum bed. Instead of being sucked into a frame, inflatees are basically turned into the opposite of a vacuum frame and immobilized from the inside-out, especially in cases of air and gas inflation.

I don’t have much more to offer beside that; but I hope this offers some insight for you about what exactly it is I personally like so much about it.

Thank you for reading my post today! If you enjoyed it, you may also be interested in my erotica or even a commission.

“So, uh, you’re a feedee but not a gainer…?”

I get asked this quite often, and I know that I am not the only one either. The short answer is: because I don’t want to and that’s it.

If you want the longer answer:

Feedism is not predicated on one or more parties being required to gain weight. There are plenty of people who are into weight gain as a kink without the feedism aspect. Likewise, there are plenty who are into bloating and stuffing without any care about the weight gain aspect.

Sure, is there a lot of overlap with gaining feedees? Of course! There’s nothing wrong with that. But we need to stop acting like they are interchangeable terms because they simply aren’t. And we also need to stop asking people this question and just accept it at face value.

It really is no different than people who, for example, participate in strict BDSM culture but do not live that lifestyle 24/7, or have other kinks they like to engage in but do not want it to become their whole life or identity.

For me, feedism is about the act of eating with and for another person intimately. Feeding has always been an intimate act and there’s something incredibly sexy about doing it with someone who also wants you to do it for them. In this way, also, my brand of feedism requires another person’s involvement: a feeder. One does not necessarily need a feeder to be a gainer and plenty of those also abound.

Additionally, my appetite (pun intended, maybe) for feedism isn’t strong enough to want to gain or “let go” with a feeder. It is a fun kink to engage with sometimes. I enjoy the quality of life and body I have now and don’t want that to change. I go into much more detail about that here.

This does not mean I am “just a stuffee” or whatever other word you want to put in its place. No: I am a feedee. A non-gaining one.

Honestly, I believe that there are far more of us than there are gainers. Given the constant complaints about the rarity of SSBBW to pick from indicates that. Also: getting SS is incredibly difficult.

Let’s turn the tables: are you a feeder?

Is it just the gaining that gets to you, or are there other things? Do you like things like tightening clothes, or seeing a feedee get full, or comment about their state of fullness, or eagerly enthuse about food? Do you like messy eating or seeing buttons pop off?

Is that something you want to see happen in every instance of someone eating around you? Or would you say that it also has to do with the dynamic and interaction between you and the person you’re feeding? Of course, we all have those incidental moments where someone says or does something inherently kinky-feedist that gets our attention. But thinking about it this way, do you recognize that there’s a level of sexual tension, active consent, and mutual desire that is equally critical to the experience? You don’t want everyone around you to gain weight sexually or eat in a sexual manner for you, is that correct? It is the same for me.

(And of course, if you do want everyone to gain weight or eat in a sexual manner for you, that’s a discussion for another day!)

Thank you for reading my post today! If you enjoyed it, you may also be interested in my erotica or even a commission.