Way, way too many things have been going on in my actual real life. Not all of the things are bad (though most are) but still, they are Things and there are wayyy too many of them at the moment.
Even when they kind of slow down, I’m finally able to stop and take a breath only to realize I am coming down with something.
While I haven’t been writing or posting, I have been working on some things for this little corner of the Internet.
But right now I am not in a huge rush to get to it.
One of the few good things that have happened recently was finally getting an ADHD diagnosis and starting treatment. It’s been successful but I find that just learning how to function like an actual adult in ways I didn’t know most people actually do is in and of itself quite a task. A fascinating and enjoyable one (mostly) but a time and energy-consuming one for sure. Interrogating and exploring how I interact with my world, community, and immediate surroundings in a way I never have before is taxing.
A few months ago, the guilt of not being “productive” or meeting arbitrary goals would devour me from the inside. The guilt would then fester all the while my brain was spinning, coming up with a million ideas and mentally reorganizing everything in my life with no ability to execute any of it. It’s incredibly frustrating to basically be stuck in your own mind with no way out.
That’s changing, slowly but surely. But right now I’m mostly enjoying experiencing life with a shred of executive function, connecting my mind and body more often, and just learning how I approach and interact with new and old situations now.
I don’t put any of that pressure on myself anymore, not right now. It’s a lot like learning how to walk again but I’m much more fascinated than intimidated by it. And so that’s primarily my focus.
So what does this all have to do with the deliciously deviant stuff I do around here?
Things are coming. I’ve finally been able to start putting some things together I’ve wanted to do for years. I’m ready to start talking about some things that I can only say here in this space. And most importantly, I’m working on a fuck ton (official unit of measurement) of stories and other goodies that I can’t wait for everyone to read.
But I’m not in a rush. In a perfect world, I could get these things all done before the end of the year but time is a construct and it doesn’t matter.
I’m going to be closing commissions soon, definitely through the end of the year at least. When I reopen them, they will be restructured.
I’m working on some site and content management-type things. Nothing wild, just new for me and hopefully accessible for you.
I recently shared some previews of projects I’m working on and those, most importantly, will get finished (plus all the ones I didn’t mention 🙂
It’s all coming but it’ll get here eventually. When it’s time.